"My mother doesn’t like tattoos. She says art belongs on a wall. Well I say no one, not even my mother gets to tell me that I can’t be a masterpiece."
my friend’s dog was sick and couldn’t get up so they were gonna put him down and as his final supper they got him a big mac and when the dog smelled it he shot up and ate it in one bite and lived for three more years
"I hope you look for me in everyone you meet."
advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
- instant cute outfit with minimal effort
- it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
- sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
- u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know
disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
Guys think they’re totally not cute lol
the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.
Canada’s time to shine has come
- lupita won an oscar
- ellen is hosting a giant pizza party
- kristen belle brought a burrito to the oscars
- brad pitt is handing out paper plates
- arby’s bought pharrell’s hat on ebay
- everything is beautiful
when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it
"They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But everytime she laughs I’m the one who falls in love."